Calm your tits! D:!
i’M TRYING But IT’s HARDER THAN IT LOOKS
HOLD UP! I have a solution to this!
Follow my lead, people!
Simply pat your boobs and tell say ‘Everything will be fine. It’s okay.’
Then everything will be fine.
You dumb females. This is obviously fake.
Huh? What is this?
YE DID NOT HEAD MY WARNING
It’s… that easy!?
IT WORKED SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS-
WE HAVE A LEAK
Wome Women… You have no idea our penises spit acid
So when I used to live in Atlanta, Georgia I got annoyed by ghetto kids on a regular basis. There where these two young ones that would walk around my neighborhood every weekend carrying PlayStation 2 controllers and. Unfortunately that’s when I would go over to my friends house or vice-versa. No matter what I do I Still end up getting, “Yo let us play yo PS2!” and I lie and say I don’t have a PlayStation 2” and they would reply, “Yo you lyin brah we see you playin through yo window!” Now I don’t want to know how they were able to see because the window is always closed and blinded and the curtains are closed the nearest window is the dining room window and that’s also obscured. The only other window was the window on the deck door. That’s where my plan began to take place. I had a friend who did monster makeup and really special effects makeup so I went to him and told him that I am pissed and I’m ready to kill somebody, he’s seen it in action. He makes me and my friend entirely black and he gives us some plain white shorts, white comedy and tragedy masks, and he extended the way our fingers looked now we were set. I set up two manquins in my living room to act as me and my friend. From the forest behind my house we watched the two dirtbags climb my deck. After they were up there we quietly climbed the deck (not an easy feat). Once we reached the deck we scared them so much one of them shit their pants, but it wasn’t over. they climbed down and we jumped down to make it more epic. We chased them, we were faster than them so I had a plan to herd them over to a big sewage ditch. We ran around them whacked them a couple of times leading them to the ditch. When we got there we totally weren’t expecting for them to nearly get hit by a car, that’s when he shit his pants again. He was running around with the shit falling out of his pants now. Instead of falling in the ditch they went around it to this place that had all of this construction junk. My friend saw that there was still a key in the bobcat mini bulldozer so he fired it up and drove that bitch. While he was driving I was doing some hardcore parkour while the turds tripped over every other thing that they passed. I took note how fast that bobcat was going it really hauled ass over all the shit in the yard. As we neared the edge of the yard there were growls and barks that suddenly started up. A pack of stray dogs smelled the guys shit and are after them. My good side came back and I jumped on the bobcat so I could get to the dogs faster. Once I got close enough I jumped on one of the dog’s and kept running to another dog which i kicked down there were still four more. My friend took out two of the dogs with the bobcat (no they didn’t get killed). Two left one started to come after me I was next to a wall so I played matador like a boss but that didn’t stop it for long. It shook off the pain and came after me I started to run again I had to focus on getting to the boys who had managed to avoid the other dog. My friend shut down the bobcat and went after them so that left me to deal with this hellhound over here (it was a big dog). It clipped me with its mouth and I tripped into a wall. I managed to kick the dog before it bit my face off I think that was what got it to give up. My friend Tackled the boys out of the way while the dog jumped off and rolled down the hill. After wards the boys stumbled home I realised I was bleeding everywhere and so was my friend a little less. As we walked we found a little puppy all alone (cliche) no other siblings in sight so i picked it up because I knew it’s parents might die so I took the little sucker in. I named him bobby after the bobcat machine. We never got caught (/o_o)/ Can’t touch this.
… Hollywood As Fuq.